My personal hell

Alright so. A little bit of backstory. Back in 2022 I lost almost 40kg. (from 88kg to 59kg) But then I decided "oh lets binge whenever I am upset" and I gained it all back and more. It's now 2 years later since my lowest weight. And I have decided that I want to try to loose weight again. Because now whenever I am in the store. I cannot find pants that fit me. Which fucking sucks, let me tell you. So my new goal is loose enought to fit back into store pants.

This all started yesterday. 15-03-2025. My dad and me went to one of those army dumps, where they sell army stuff. Because those pants they got there are the best and most usefull pants you'll ever get your hands on. And I only have one pair of pants that fit me. And they have glue stains in them. But when I got there, nothing fit. Nit even the 3xl. (this is so embarrassing.) Que weight related breakdown. And then ofcourse when I went home I had to stand on the scale, only to get the shock of my life. I weight 99kg. This is the most I've ever weighted. And I feel horrible about it. So, I shall once more endeavor to loose weight. And this time I shall stay with it!!

First week done! This weight-in day was hella motivating. 3 KG down. I don't quite know how the fuck I managed that in a week, but it's good! I eat around 1400-1800 calories a day. (averaging around 1650) and I do 12.5K steps a day. Here's to hoping I'll loose another 3kg the upcoming week. I'm hoping I'll be 70kg by july (extremely unlikely, as that would mean a 1500 kcal deficit a day) but that is what I'm aiming for. (let me be delusional. Besides, if I put a really extreme goal, I'll still loose faster than with a normal goal, cause I'm trying to hit it. Eventhough I know I won't get there.)

Okay so, you read the intro. Here is the plan. 1500 calories a day, and 12.5K steps. i believe if I do this, I'll be able to loose 10kg over the next two months. After that it'll slow down again, obviously. But for now this will be my goal. In total it would be nice if I ended up weighing 55kg. I mean, I'm 173cm tall, so 55kg would make me around bmi 18.5. Which is nice. Also when I'm used to eating a little less and walking more again, I will also pick up muscle training. But that is something to worry about later. I don't wanna overwhelm myself right of the bat.

Lituarly the reason I'm doing this right now is because I wanna be able to wear cool army pants, and look like a call of duty character, that's it. I know pathetic.